I'm sharing the journey I navigated in order to live the life of my wildest dreams! This is also a love note to the woman who walked me through my peaks and valleys so that I could arrive here. It's a full circle moment, and I'm so excited to share it with you! :)
What you'll learn from this episode:
Links + resources:
Have a question?
Drop me a note on IG (@Ashley.Mondor) or send me an email at Hello@ashleymondor.com. I can't wait to hear from you!
This podcast is for entertainment purposes only. Please consult with your doctor, therapist, or financial advisor for medical, mental health, or financial advice.
Hello and welcome to the Free Your Heart podcast. I'm your host and heart healer, Ashley Mondor. And, I am here to serve as your guide while bringing you nourishing conversations, wisdom, and channeled messages that support your healing journey to wholeness and unconditional love. It's my hope that this podcast and the stories shared with you inspire you, expand you, and align you to the profound understanding of not only who you are, but for what's possible for you as you heal and open your heart.
And, with that said, I invite you to get comfortable, unclench your jaw, and release any tension you're holding in your body. Now, take a deep breath in with love for yourself and for this heart-to-heart connection. And, when you're ready, let's dive in.
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Free Your Heart podcast. I wanted to say this podcast has been on my heart for years now. It's here because there was a lot of fear I had to walk through in order to be the version of being who can have a podcast and really actually creates episodes instead of just keeping them on my hard drive. So welcome. Thank you for being with me.
I thought I would share a story with you, which has been one of the most profound stories of my life, as well as the catalyst for who I am today. A few years back, I had been in a job that I thought would be the place where I would retire. I thought it was going to be everything. It was the nonprofit with the mission, the people, the joy, and, oh my God, it was going to be everything to me.
I wanted to be there. I wanted to do good work. I wanted to raise as much money as possible for this incredible organization. I gathered all my things, because for the first time in my career, I was going to have an office. And, this office? Had a freaking door on it and a window! “I thought, “Oh my God! This is everything. This is going to be the place.”
I put up my stuff in and I decorated my office. I felt so proud, like a little peacock. Then, we had a whole organizational meeting where we were all going to have a potluck and we were going to connect with each other and it was going to be amazing.
I was going to meet all of these incredible people that I've heard so much about. We sit down and people are vibing and the energy is good. Then, we start getting into the nitty gritty of the organizational metrics and the work really of, you know, what are people doing? I vividly remember sitting there when people started talking to each other and then their tones changed.
You could hear the bitterness and the resentment. You could feel the tension. Then they started swearing at each other, and I just hung my head down disheartened and stared at the floor thinking, “Of course this was too good to be true.” After that meeting, I thought, “Okay, what have I gotten myself into?
But, I'm going to be positive because that's their experience, not my experience. I'm gonna come in the next day and I'm going to be excited and positive, and enthusiastic because this is part of the reason why I was hired. For my energy.” Through the rest of the week, I find out that there's a lot of technology infrastructure problems, and the internet goes out all the time, which is a problem as a digital marketer and communicator.
Then, I find out that my boss, the leader of the organization is a complete micromanager who is disrespectful, who has huge expectations that most people can't meet. Especially when you’re a team of one, and the pressure of it… Finally, at the end of the week, I thought, “I don't even know if I am going to make it a year here because of how toxic this culture is.”
I gathered all my things from my office and I just think I'm going to put the bare minimum into this place. Not in the work, but in the office. I'm going to try and do my best. I'm going to try and stick it out for a year because that's what's supposed to look good on resumes.
Oh God. I would find myself trying to go into the office as early as possible before everyone else so that no one could come in and interrupt me while I was trying to knock out these deadlines. I found myself actively avoiding people because they constantly needed help or support. And, I could never get the things in that I needed to.
I found myself watching the leader of the organization swearing at people. And, talking down to them and being disrespectful. Then, I learned about his unethical ways of running this organization and how people generally didn't feel safe around him. What happened with me? Well, I would go home as early, as possible, as early as I could after being there as early as possible before people, I found myself on Sundays, literally crying at the thought of having to go back for another five days.
I also didn't like who I was becoming. I was becoming bitter and resentful. I was bringing all of the stress, tension, and anxiety home with me to my partner. I needed to vent. I needed to get it out, and it was so toxic. I don't even have the words for how toxic it was, but this job with this office that I thought I wanted was the catalyst for who I am today.
One day, I had my earphones in and I was trying to search for a podcast that I could listen to while I was writing and working on content. I came across this episode where this woman spoke with such vibrancy and such passion. She filled the airwaves with possibility.
I thought, “Oh my God, who is this?!” I mesmerized as she talked about living a life of passion, of living a life where there is no glass ceiling, of living a life where you literally make money because of your gifts, because of your strengths, because of your energy, because of your heart, because of who you are in the world.
I thought, “This is what I want!” I found out that she was a business coach and I also found out that you could connect with her, send her a message, and you could hop on the phone with her so you can learn more about how she could work with you. I literally stopped the podcast and ran to her website.
I signed up for a free clarity call just because I thought, “Who is this woman? If anything, maybe we can be best friends?” I jumped on the phone with her and you know, I have no business expertise. I have no business. I just found out about business. I thought coaching was only in sports.
I'm sitting with her and I feel her energy. She is like the sun. She radiates. She's. so beautiful. So passionate. She was like, “I think you have something here. I honestly think you could be incredibly successful. And, I would like to show you the way. In order to do so, it's the investment of $5,000 in yourself.
I have payment plans.” When she said that, my heart sank. I don't have that. I don't have $5,000. I have it open and available on a credit card, but like, I don't have $5,000, who does that? I already invested 30 or $40,000 in my college education, and I'm just now barely scratching the surface of that debt.
Who am I to do that? “She shared, I totally understand where you're coming from. I was in an extremely toxic job and the thought of having to go back another day was soul crushing.” Then, she found business. I hung up the phone with her racking, my brain feeling disheartened thinking, I don't have the money.
Who am I to do this? What if I don't get a return on investment and all of that? A few days later, she circles back to me, “I'm thinking of you! How are you? How have you been since we've last talked? What's been happening for you?” I shared with her, “I would love to work with you, but I just don't have the money.
I just can't do this right now. I’ve never done this. I have no idea where I'm going.” So, my brain is spinning out in anxiety. I am telling myself all the reasons why I can't do this thing. And, she's like, “Let's hop back on the phone. I said, “Okay, fine. I'll talk to you.” We’re on the phone and she basically gets me to a point where I could see the version of me that she saw.
She held this incredibly high vision and belief in me that I could not see. That I had never lived. Who am I to have a business? Who am I to be full-time in something that I am so in love with? Who am I to support people on their journey? But you see that you see that in me?
Well, maybe if you see that in me, you could hold my hand, and you could take me there? I was so excited at the thought of being held by someone who saw the best version of me and who could hold me to that standard. I said, “You know what? I'm in!” And, we celebrated, we screamed, we cheered. And her assistant then sent me the email and was like, “Oh my God, we're so excited to have you here, and to work with you!
This is going to be amazing. I love your energy. This will be so cool” Then I saw that you had to pay. I totally forgot about the money part. And it was like, well, you have this option. You can pay-in-full at $5,000, or we have a payment plan to support you. When I saw that my heart dropped because my immediate scarcity brain left to the forefront and was like, you cannot do this.
I freak out. I don't even respond back to her. I can't believe I just verbally said, “Yes, I want to work with you. Yes. I'm going to do this thing with you. let's go.” Then, I hop off the phone and immediately I'm like, “Oh my God, that's way too far out of my comfort zone. I cannot pay this money.
Who am I to do that? What if I never make this investment back? Oh my God!” So, I tried to go to bed. I couldn't obviously, because my brain is telling me that basically I’m going to live under a bridge if I do this thing and I'm going to be a failure. It's going to take years, and years, and years, and years, and years to ever pay this debt down, especially at this non-profit salary rate that I have.
So, I don't go through with it. I email her assistant back and I'm like, “I'm so sorry, but I tried to sleep last night and I couldn't, and I'm super anxious about this, and I’ve never spent this, this amount of money on myself, outside of my college debt, and look where that's gotten me!” I really struggled with telling her that, because the people-pleaser in me wanted to be there.
The version of me, who she could see in me, I want it to be that. But how could I be that if I can't even support myself now? Who am I to do this? So, her VA emails me back and says, “I totally understand what you're going through.”
She went through basically the same exact thing as you. She got excited. It was her very first investment in this way. She gave the credit card number and then she was going to back out. But that coach, that mentor, saw something in her and believed in her. And now look where she is!
[00:10:50] She works with women. Like you, she teaches them how to sharpen their work, how to stand in their gifts, how to market, how to build a business that they love. She's doing this full-time and if she can do it, so can you.” That interaction with her and this woman who I so deeply desired to be my coach, you know, really actually was the catalyst for me to be like, “You know, what if the worst thing to happen is me investing in my personal growth while I can't wait to see who I'm going to be on the other side because good God, I hope to be different.
I hope to learn. I hope to bring these skills to everything that I do in my life.” I invested that $5,000 in myself. It was the greatest investment I've ever made. Far and above my college degree in marketing. I can't even tell you that single $5,000 investment is the reason why I say I’m here with you with a podcast that I never thought I could have. Being full-time in my business, working with the most incredible people on the planet, doing work focused on trauma, healing, people-pleasing, and imposter syndrome, and self-sabotage, and working with the subconscious mind, and helping people heal their hearts and free their souls and help them live lives they're so madly in love with and create relationships.
Incredibly intimate and passionate and loving and building businesses where they launched their first offer or multiple offers or doubling their salary. I do this because there was a version of me that needed a coach like me and I found her and I found her through a podcast.
I wanted to create a channel to connect with people who resonate with my energy. People who know that they desire more. People who feel called to being more of themselves. This is the channel for you, and I'm so honored to have you here. I'm so proud of the version of me who bravely invested $5,000 on a credit card.
I don't advocate for credit card debt unless it's something you feel empowered to do. But that version of me who was brave enough to invest in that way in myself, because I am now living the life of my wildest dreams.
I am connected to the most incredible people, and her mentorship and guidance is why I am here today.
She held my hand through the highest highs. Selling my first offer, selling multiple offers, and making my first $10,000 in a month, learning more tools and modalities to work with people at a deeper level, through their subconscious mind, and experiencing actual magic in my world. And she helped me through the lows.
When I had found out my partner was cheating on me and the utter shatter of that in my heart, the sadness, the pain, and the open wound I was carrying. She helped me through when my boss basically told me, he wished he could be my partner and completely crossed that line using his power. She walked with me when I was harassed.
When I went on multiple dates where men didn't listen to me and they crossed my boundaries. She walked with me through when no one bought the thing that I had so excitedly brought out into the world. She was there for me. And because she was there for me. I am who I am today. I am forever grateful for this woman and the way that she's changed my life.
Now what's so cool is I have such a deep, profound soul connection with her that while she serves as my mentor, she's also one of my very best friends on the planet. She’s referred me to the people she loves the most because she knows me. She knows my heart. She knows the things I've walked through with integrity, and how I have led myself through those circumstances.
She trusts me with the hearts that she loves the most. And she's connected me to some of the coolest people on the planet, people who I've worked with, people who have podcasts I've been on, people who have become my best friends. This one woman. So, I want to give her a shout-out because she means the world to me. Her name is Christine McAllister, and she runs Life with Passion.
She's one of my very best friends. She is one of the most powerful women I have ever met in my life. She is so loving, so generous, so kind, so joyful. And to me, she is like the sun. She radiates with this vibrancy and you feel so loved, supported, and guided by her. If you get the chance, please connect with Christine.
She’s everything to me. And I hope that if you ever find something that is so compelling to your heart, that makes you dream, desire, and believe in possibility because they are the living, breathing example. If you get the chance to work with him, please do. There's nothing like it on the planet. There is nothing like being supported by another human who has what you want, what you desire.
Take the chance, take the opportunity to connect, drop them a message, and see what happens from there. Because I was brave enough to message this woman who became my mentor, who helped me change my life. And I am the living, breathing example of that, and what's possible because of her. Thank you for listening to my story and listening to this podcast and hearing me just like gush about Christine.
It means so much to me. I hope you have a beautiful day and that you take care of yourself, and you find yourself living in magic and miracles because they're all around you, and they are ignited through your conscious awareness and your gratitude. I love you so much.
If you loved this episode, would you do me a favor and leave me a quick rating? Or, could you share this episode with someone you love? This is super, super helpful for me on my mission to opening more hearts across the world and connecting people back to the truth of their souls. Thank you so much for being with me.